“Your silence will not protect you.”

Audre Lorde

One in four girls experience sexual trauma, and it’s time that we all step up to prevent this and support families in recovery. Here are four ways to help.

Stop comparing and start empathizing.

If we accept that one in four girls in our communities are abused, then it stands to reason that we all know families and girls who are grappling with this issue and its aftermath.

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned in my journey, it’s that when it comes to sexual abuse, my silence will not protect me, your silence will not protect you, and our silence will not protect our girls.

I never imagined sexual abuse would hit so close to home. And then, I was a mom struggling to help her daughter recover from sexual trauma. On my journey, I felt isolated. I felt that nobody in my life could understand what I was going through. Luckily, while attending parent workshops and school events over the years, I’ve met families and young girls facing similar challenges. When I look back, one incident stands out because it helped me realize why I felt so isolated and lonely. My daughter was 14 at the time, and I felt vulnerable and scared. This particular workshop was designed to help parents understand where our girls were, developmentally, in order to prepare us for their return home and ways to hold boundaries with them. We shared stories, ate lunch together, and exchanged phone numbers.

I felt relief. Finally, there was a safe space for me to share my fears for my daughter. I risked sharing: “My daughter has been dangerously promiscuous since the abuse, and I’m scared as hell.” The facilitator discussed trauma, specifically how girls who are abused can often respond in this way. He also acknowledged my fear and feelings. Most of the parents were warm and compassionate as they handed me tissues for my tears and consoled me with their hugs. I was hurt all over again when another parent shared her experience and seemingly compared her daughter to mine. In so many words, she basically said, “Thank God our issue has nothing to do with sex…” She then proceeded to share her daughter’s struggles. Her comment appeared to be a direct response to my vulnerability. Sharing made her feel better that her daughter had problems but not SEX problems. It made me want to go hide again. After all, for months, I had been hiding this traumatic experience as well as my daughter’s dangerous response to her trauma. This parent gave voice to what I always felt from other parents. I always felt as though they were saying, “At least our problems aren’t as bad as yours…At least our daughter isn’t having sex…We don’t want our daughter around yours.”

It’s a natural human tendency to get relief from suffering by comparing ourselves to others who may have more challenging life experiences; however, this impulse to compare can create harm. Parents like me who have children whose behavior is stigmatized and stereotyped are suddenly faced with supporting their child(ren) in isolation from their communities. Girls who are promiscuous or overtly curious about sex are often labeled as “bad girls” or “fast.” They are often the target of abuse and name-calling by their peers when they should receive concern and care. They are whispered about by parents and adults in their community when they should instead be receiving care. The direct result is our girls feeling ostracized with nowhere to go and ultimately, the potential perpetuation of abuse.

Take the radical stance that all girls deserve to be loved and protected.

How going beyond “our business and your business” is crucial for the safety of our girls.

I founded the Kerengende Foundation because I believe all girls deserve to be loved and protected, especially the ones acting “fast” and wearing too much make-up. I believe that our girls would experience less harm if we adults had the courage to care and act in support of our girls’ wellbeing.

I believe that there could be a radical change in the statistics of sexual abuse if we shifted into the mindset of caring for all of our girls. For example, if we observe a girl in our circle acting out of character, or if our child comes home after a sleepover telling us of an alarming behavior or story from one of their friends, we should respect our parental intuition and explore a safe way to address these experiences. While it may be your first inclination to stop at only protecting your own child, I implore you to go further. Certainly, in some instances, gossip is just gossip and schoolyard drama, but in other cases, teenage gossip can signal that a young girl may be in a dangerous situation.

Step up and speak out.

Your voice could mean the difference between years of harm and hope for healing.

While I acknowledge the difficulty of broaching these types of conversations with a girl’s parents, there are times when it’s imperative that we do so. Some parents may treat you like you’re peddling gossip. They may dismiss your concerns as “nothing to be worried about.” They might even say, “This is none of your business.” Oftentimes, we shy away from confronting concerning behaviors because we don’t want to damage the relationship we have with another family. While all of the previously mentioned scenarios are possible, what is the risk to the child if the behavior or situation is not addressed?

My 12-year-old daughter disclosed her abuse to her 12-year-old friend (we’ll call her “Ashley”) during a sleepover at my house. My daughter had been groomed to believe that the abuse was “just sex” and that she and her abuser were in a secret relationship. She told “Ashley” that she was having sex with this 37-year-old man and not to tell anyone. Ashley told her mom that my daughter was having sex. Suddenly, Ashley stopped coming over. Her mother did not speak to me at the dance recitals or ever again for that matter. Ashley just kept telling my daughter that she couldn’t come over for one reason or another. Five months later, my daughter opened up to me about the abuse. When she was interviewed by the police, they asked her if she had told any of her friends about the abuse. She said “yes,” and Ashley was JUST ONE OF THEM. Come to find out, Ashley told her mom about the sex but not his age. Another girl from church told her parents about the abuse, and they just told her to stay away from my daughter because “she’s trouble.” Not one parent called and alerted me to what my daughter was telling their girls. They just isolated our family. The abuse went on for 6 months and my daughter was crying out for help in the best way her 12-year-old mind knew how: by talking to her friends about it.

As I study sexual abuse, predators, pedophiles, and ways we as a community can prevent such harm done to our girls, I’ve realized that police don’t protect our kids from sexual abuse. We do. As adults, we are tasked with protecting children — all children, not just our own. Pedophiles get to thrive in the silence that results from our children’s most traumatic experiences being swept under the rug. My daughter’s disclosures to her friends should have been taken seriously. In a culture of “not my business, not my problem,” girls exhibiting troubling behaviors are just slut-shamed and ostracized. I challenge all of us to reconsider what it means to be a part of a community and view the children within it as our collective responsibility. Child molesters count on the fact that we either won’t believe or address reported child sexual abuse. I am by no means blaming the abuse of my daughter on the silence of some members of my community, but I am saying they potentially could have stopped it sooner.

Recently a friend contacted me to ask what they should do in a situation where one of her daughter’s friends was asking boys to send her “dick pics.” My friend said, “the moms were talking about it at a soccer game.” My first question was, “Has anyone talked to her parents?” Parents gossiping about questionable behavior does nothing to change it and actually makes things worse. Many young people have used today’s social media platforms as a way to explore their budding sexuality. Sending pictures, “sexting,” and snap-chatting “dick pics” have become the concern of the modern-day parent. Middle schoolers typically don’t know that they can be charged with the distribution of pornography for these seemingly victimless crimes. They also don’t think ahead to the possibility that their pictures can end up going viral on the internet although the person they sent it to promised to delete them. As community members, we have to discuss the ramifications of these behaviors with our girls. We have to communicate with their caregivers in a supportive, non-judgmental way. The objective is to protect the child from harm.

Here’s my advice to parents and caregivers who have heard about dangerous behaviors of a girl in their community:

Summary:

1. COMMIT. Commit yourself to making sure the girl is safe before you choose NOT to address the situation.
2. GATHER DATA. Ask your daughter questions. Lots of them! You would be surprised how well a 12-year-old can keep a secret or omit information that she believes will get HER in trouble. Explain that your intention is about safety and that her telling the truth to you is for creating more safety. Explaining why the behavior is concerning will help your girl understand why you feel so compelled to get to the bottom of the situation. For example, “If Jenny is talking to men online, these men may have bad intentions for her. Girls have been harmed when meeting up with strangers they met online. I just want to keep her safe.”
3. CONSIDER STEPS. Think about your relationship with the family involved and decide if you feel comfortable having the conversation yourself, or if you would prefer to enlist the help of a teacher, school administrator, or a leader in your faith community to help address the behavior.
4. BE WARM. Keep in contact with the girl. Don’t isolate her! Children can feel the glares of disapproving adults. Children in our communities need to be loved through their worst moments just like we do! They can’t grow and heal from what is not addressed.

It’s Up to Us

Addressing dangerous behaviors in a supportive way is a reminder to the parents and children in a community that we are in this together. Reaching out to a parent or caregiver as an act of love can prevent a girl from experiencing potential harm. Your difficult conversation may also reveal ongoing abuse to an unknowing parent. You can potentially change the negative trajectory of a girl’s life. Our girls are counting on us to pay attention. They may not be able to say it or understand it right now, but they are hoping that we love them enough to say something even when it may be uncomfortable to do so.

When I found out that my daughter had been abused by someone close to our family, I was devastated. I felt alone and overwhelmed with police, inspectors, calls with therapists, teachers, and attorneys. I was facing the reality that my daughter was harmed by someone I trusted, and I felt responsible. Every day I was tasked with errands related to addressing the abuse via the criminal justice system. Many of those tasks felt like an additional violation of my daughter and that made me feel, again, like I wasn’t protecting her. What I found most challenging was trying to be strong for my daughter when every day I wanted to just cry. I needed help and longed for support. I didn’t know what to ask for and many people “ghosted“ me because they just couldn’t find the words to say.

When a family you know is trying to support their son or daughter who has experienced sexual trauma, it can be difficult to know how to support them. The survivor and the family are struggling with intense emotions like anger, guilt, sadness, rage, and extreme loss. The family may be feeling guilty that they were unable to protect their loved one from the abuse that occurred. They may also feel extremely alone in their pain and struggle to manage their individual emotions while collectively trying to support the survivor. Well-meaning friends and family witnessing this pain may feel uncomfortable offering support as they are scared they may say or do the wrong thing.

While you may fear saying the wrong thing to a survivor or their family, saying nothing can feel like abandonment. I have some thoughts about how to be supportive to families like mine. These thoughts are my own, and I think it’s important to keep in my mind that other’s needs may differ from mine. This is solely my perspective.

Even though you may be scared to say the wrong thing, reach out anyway.

When people found out what happened to my daughter, the phone calls started coming in. They would ask how my daughter and I were doing. I appreciated those calls. They reminded me of the community we had and made me feel less alone in my efforts to support my daughter. Some people stated they didn’t know what to say, or they couldn’t imagine what I must have been feeling. And that was okay. It’s okay to not know what exactly we are experiencing. Frankly, I’d prefer sympathy, rather than empathy. I hope they’ll never know that feeling, but I appreciated them caring enough to call me and let me know they were there. That meant a lot. If I wasn’t in a place to talk, I had a choice to not answer the phone but guess what? I saw YOU called.

Offer help even if it’s practical.

One of my friends came over and offered to help me clean up my place. She puttered around looking confused about where things went but she was there, and she was helping. Others offered to accompany me to court dates. Four of my cousins attended just about every court date with me. I appreciated having them there. There was something satisfying about having five Black women staring down my daughter’s abuser at every court date. There was a shared rage, and we wore it in our gaze… collectively.

Another friend who had knowledge of the legal process would call occasionally and tell me what to expect. I appreciated that he shared his wisdom and helped in the way that he knew best.

Sometimes just listening is enough.

One of my girlfriends invited me to her place, and I cried on her couch. I talked about my concerns for my daughter, my fear of the unknown, my shame, and my anger. I would talk and overthink things while she occasionally interjected: “Can I just say that you don’t have to deal with all of that right now? You have time to figure those things out.” She loved me (and still does) and would sporadically stop me from blaming myself. “Amber, don’t do that to yourself. That’s not fair to you.” Her listening support was instrumental in not only creating a safe space for me to grieve but also allowing me to go home and stand strong for my daughter.

Showing up as my most authentic and genuine self is very important. I suggest not overextending yourself or offering help that you may not be able to sustain. I know that when people offered to help with something, I viewed it as one less thing for me to worry about; however, if the person didn’t follow through, I was left scrambling to sort something out and that created additional stress for me.

It’s very important to know your emotional limitations. For example, if you are extremely empathetic and prone to crying, there are times when that is not helpful at all. While you’ve shown up to be supportive, suddenly the family is tasked with or may feel compelled to take care of you.

Saying nothing and sitting in silence is okay. While it may feel awkward to sit in silence, your presence can mean a lot. Don’t underestimate how meaningful the gift of your time is.

Allow the family to share as much or as little as they feel comfortable. Refrain from asking probing questions or asking for intimate details that make the survivor or the family relive and or retell the story. Keep in mind that they’ve talked to police, prosecutors, nurses, therapists, victim witness advocates, and family. Offer comfort and allow them to share on their own.

If you are reading this, someone you love may have experienced sexual trauma. Please know that they and their families appreciate you caring enough to research ways to support a loved one through this difficult time. As our communities continue to learn how best to support girls and families in need, we must remember that we are stronger together.

When addressing a girl’s trauma, it is important we consider who she is in her entirety. I remember hoping that therapy would “fix” my daughter. I longed for her to return to that adolescent girl with typical adolescent girl problems. She met with a therapist and attended programs that required her to retell her story over and over again. One day, she was over it. She expressed, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” She wasn’t engaged or invested in her own healing process. It was evident that we needed to try a different approach. We recognized that trauma-informed care wasn’t enough; we needed a more holistic approach.

During our healing journey, I found some hope in an article entitled “The Future of Healing: Shifting From Trauma Informed Care to Healing Centered Engagement. ” As an Associate Professor of Education and African American Studies at San Francisco State University, author Dr. Shawn Ginwright shares the differences between a “trauma-informed” approach and a “healing-centered engagement.” In his book, Hope and Healing in Urban Education: How Activists are Reclaiming Matters of the Heart, Ginwright explains:

“A healing-centered approach to addressing trauma requires a different question that moves beyond ‘what happened to you’ to ‘what’s right with you’ and views those exposed to trauma as agents in the creation of their own well-being rather than victims of traumatic events. Additionally, healing centered engagement offers an asset driven approach aimed at the holistic restoration of young peoples’ well-being.”

The article immediately resonated with me. I heard my daughter’s voice while I was reading it. She was basically saying, “There’s so much more to me than the abuse. The rest of me needs nurturing too”.

The Kerengende model reflects the teachings of Ginwright through this healing-centered engagement philosophy. Sexual abuse often isolates the abused and doesn’t consider the influence of community. We strive to incorporate a collective effort to heal and prevent sexual abuse for young girls. While this is prioritized, we do not negate the need of trauma support for the families. The family’s wellness is imperative to ensure that they have the capacity to support the survivor while acknowledging their own healing needs. At the Kerengende Foundation, we have extensive resources for families who want to take control of their lives and secure treatment to thrive.

It’s a common question that new community members ask. 

During my daughter’s healing journey, she attended the Star Guides Wilderness Program. In this program, my daughter learned how to start fires, lead hikes, cook over an open fire, and most importantly, how to use healthy coping strategies to overcome sexual trauma.

Furthermore, my daughter received additional support in the form of weekly therapy. During her sessions, the therapist addressed the dangerous behaviors associated with the sexual abuse my daughter experienced. These behaviors led me to find the Star Guides Wilderness Program, which turned out to be a very much needed safe space for my daughter.

The team of professional counselors empowered the girls by recognizing their growth and advancement through the program. One of the more sacred ways of recognizing the girls was to grant them an “Earth Name.”  My daughter told me that she told her counselors about the matching necklaces that she and I have. I bought them for us when she was six years old. The necklaces have a dragonfly charm on them. With the necklaces as inspiration, my daughter would later be given the Earth Name, “Eastern Emerald Kerengende.” Pronounced karen-gen-day, the term means “dragonfly” in Swahili. 

I chose the name Kerengende for this reason. We all have different paths to healing. The story of my daughter’s Earth Name highlights the importance of being safe, seen, and understood during some of our most trying times. That is what the Kerengende Foundation is here to do. We see you. We hear you. We understand. 

For Our Daughters,

Amber Clayborne

Originally Sent April 6, 2022

Dear Friends,

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, which recognizes the importance of families and communities working together to strengthen families to prevent child abuse and neglect. Through this collaboration, prevention services and supports help protect children and produce thriving families. As we acknowledge this important topic this month, I wanted to share the Kerengende Foundation’s progress on building a healing community for victims of sexual trauma and their families. 

Parent/Caregiver Workshops

With our incredible partners at Community Lifeline, we have offered two in-person parent workshops so far this year. I am excited to announce that this month we will begin partnering with the East St. Louis School District 189 to offer preventative and responsive workshops for families through its Wraparound Wellness Center. We are honored to work with the District and reach more families in the area.

Join us on April 14th at 5:30 PM CT for…..

Taking Charge of Your Trauma Brain

Join us as we explore how the brain is impacted by trauma, how increasing awareness around what one focuses on and pays attention to can either decrease or increase trauma symptoms, and identify specific belief systems they have that are limiting their ability to heal from trauma. You can Register Here!

On April 21st at 5:30 PM CT

We will discuss the importance of vetting youth serving organizations to keep our children safe. What should we be asking them prior to dropping our children off? We welcome Diane Cranley back for this very important discussion. Registration opens THIS week!

Teen Workshops

On April 23rd, Kerengende Foundation is partnering with Community Lifeline Family Advocacy Center to support adolescent girls in the Butterfly Girls program. Consent vs. Coercion and healthy boundaries will be the topics of the day!

Family Support

We have partnered with Rachel Jackson at Project Compassion to build out a new program which removes financial barriers for families to access therapy. We look forward to updating you on the progress as it develops. 

We’re Hiring

The Kerengende Foundation is seeking a Development Intern through the AmeriCorps VISTA program. Click here to learn more and please let us know if you have a referral!

Thank you so much for your support of Kerengende Foundation. We couldn’t do this work without you.

With gratitude,

Amber Clayborne

---

Originally Sent June 22, 2022

Dear Friends,

Happy summer! We are excited to share the latest Kerengende updates with you below. Thank you for your continued partnership as we help teens and families who have experienced sexual trauma through building a healing community connected to information, support resources, and education.

With gratitude,

Amber

Upcoming Programs

With our incredible partners at Community Lifeline, we have offered two in-person parent workshops so far this year. I am excited to announce that this month we will begin partnering with the East St. Louis School District 189 to offer preventative and responsive workshops for families through its Wraparound Wellness Center. We are honored to work with the District and reach more families in the area.

Join us on July 14th at 5:30 PM CT for…..

Community Workshop: How to Set Boundaries & Communicate with Ease

• Gain access to two kick ass strategies that will empower you to speak up
• Explore in a safe step-by-step way the impact that not setting boundaries is having on your life and relationships
• Identify the actions you can take when someone doesn’t respect your boundaries so you can feel safer and more confident
• Learn practical, easy to use strategies for how to put an end to taking care of everybody else

Register Here

Girls Self-Esteem Summer Camp

We are excited to partner with Rachael R. Jackson, founder of Project Compassion the week of July 18th at their “Imagine Me” summer camp. The program is designed to empower girls with activities that explore health and wellness, spiritual growth and discovery and now boundaries, consent, and safety. Project Compassion is an amazing organization that has historical roots in the community and we are very excited to collaborate with them!

Program Updates

Webinar on Prevention

n Monday, June 13, the Kerengende Foundation hosted a free webinar with presenter Diane Cranley on “How to assess an organization’s child sexual abuse prevention practices.” Cranley is a child sexual abuse prevention consultant, author, and founder of TAALK nonprofit dedicated to breaking the silence that surrounds child sexual abuse.  

The webinar was viewed by nearly 30 attendees, who learned the importance of being proactive change agents when it comes to ensuring organizations have prevention policies. 

“When we surround children with knowledgeable and outspoken adults, we ALL play a part in the solution!”

Diane Cranley

We are pleased to share the presentation with you and encourage you to watch it to learn how to best support kids. Access the presentation replay here.  (password: kerengende9).

Teen Workshop on Consent and Boundaries

On April 23rd, we offered a teen workshop at Community Lifeline Family Advocacy Center. First Lady Wyvetta Granger of New Life Community Church hosts her Butterfly Girls teen mentorship group bi-monthly and invited Kerengende to deliver the consent and boundaries portion of the 3-day curriculum. We presented on the topics of consent, coercion and boundaries as they relate to friendships, intimate relationships, and sex. Kerengende’s family advocate, Chelsea Mayo, co-facilitated. We were in awe of the strength, grace, and courage of the Butterfly Girls, and left with so much gratitude for the time we shared with them.

Gratitude for our Supporters

We are thrilled to announce a generous grant from the Marillac Mission Fund to support our Human Trafficking and Sexual Abuse Prevention, Education, and Support Programs in the St. Louis Metropolitan Area. This is our first grant from Marillac, and the largest foundation grant we have received to date. We are grateful for Marillac’s partnership and look forward to deepening our impact in the community with their partnership. 

In addition, we received a grant from Garcia Hamilton & Associates who have supported our efforts since 2019 and we are grateful for the continued partnership. I had the opportunity to visit their offices in Houston and experience their trading floor this past May. It was fantastic to meet with the team, and I thank them for their support! 

Speaking Engagements

I am thrilled to be presenting at Children’s Advocacy Center of Mississippi on November 9th to share my personal testimony and perspective as a parent of a sexual abuse survivor.  

Please reach out to me if you would like me to present at your organization or amongst your community, or host a prevention workshop. No one will be turned away for lack of funds.

With Love & Gratitude,

Amber Clayborne
Founder & Executive Director

From July 18 to July 20, 2022, Kerengende partnered with Project Compassion, based out of Belleville, Illinois to provide a three-day youth workshop focused on the prevention of sexual exploitation. This collaborative event introduced female-identified youth to the concepts of consent, coercion, and boundaries through daily dialogue and a culminating hands-on art project. Led by a licensed art therapist from Southern Illinois University-Edwardsville (SIUE), the interactive art project invited girls to create a “canvas of self” with the decoration of mannequins. Below, you will find a full first-person report of my observations, my instruction, and my interactions as the Kerengende founder and adult facilitator of this event. 

Given the risk factors of poverty and today’s ever-increasing online exposure, young people are arguably even more vulnerable to sexual exploitation on and offline. Especially in low-income areas like East St. Louis, this problem of sexual abuse is further compounded by under-reporting, which could be the result of many factors from lack of information, miseducation, and or the stigmatization of survivors and targets of sexual abuse. As a step toward prevention and intervention, this workshop focused on giving youth and their families the information, the resources, and the decision-making tools to self-advocate and or navigate life after abuse. 

Project Compassion served as the ideal partner for this particular event, for this organization shares similar values and provides relevant family-support services to similar vulnerable populations–that being unhoused women and their families. Specifically, this organization has strong ties to the local communities due to its implementation of violence prevention programs in local high schools. Kerengende was able to gain access to youth because of Project Compassion’s influence, credibility, and presence in the local communities. Due to a shared mission, there was a natural opportunity for Kerengende to offer its Stronger Together programming to complement Project Compassion’s Imagine Me summer camp. Lastly, the licensed art therapist came as a result of a contract between Kerengende and the Call for Help Rape Crisis Center. 

This event ran for three consecutive days from the morning to the afternoon. Each day featured a series of short lessons, open conversations, and community-building activities.  Parents were given resources and study material the first day while the group of no more than ten girls participated under the supervision and guidance of primarily two adults–Kerengende Founder, Amber Clayborne, and therapist Chelsea Mayo, also one of Kerengende’s family advocates. The summer camp was primarily  interactive, discussion-based, and student-centered,  so the content and its delivery were tailored to be age-appropriate for teenagers and inclusive of different learning styles and modalities. The summer camp embodied the concept of “consent,” giving the girls the voice and choice to determine the ways in which they wanted to engage with the material and the group. Community norms were given, appended, and agreed upon among the group in order to keep the space safe and collaborative.   

This seminar-style workshop provided both adults and youth the opportunity to share and care intimately, vulnerably, and compassionately. Such sensitive topics were best unpacked through daily open-ended discussion infused with some formal presentations. To create a tight-knit sense of community, the decision was made to keep the number of girls to no more than ten. To have adult facilitators with similar ethnic backgrounds and shared experiences made the entire experience culturally safe, responsive, and revelatory for the girls. The girls spoke freely and candidly about certain personal experiences without feeling self-conscious or misunderstood. 

The culminating project of decorating mannequins allowed girls to be hands-on, creative, and supportive of one another. In addition to empowering the girls with key information and decision-making skills, the summer camp also organically fostered strong interpersonal skills such as teamwork, empathy, and communication. 

Grateful for any and all funding and support, Kerengende continues to look for both local and national organizations with similar missions, significant community contact and engagement, and relevant resources, supplemental to the services offered by Kerengende. 

Dear Friends,

We hope you all had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. At Kerengende Foundation we are excited to update you on our highlights from the summer, as we gear up for an impactful fall that supports our teens, families, and community members with the education and resources to respond to and prevent sexual trauma. Thank you for your support in making this possible. 

With gratitude,

Amber Clayborne, Founder
I’d love to hear from you. Please use our contact form if you’d like to get in touch.

Summer Program Highlights

Stronger Together: Programs for Teens

“Imagine Me” Summer Camp in Partnership with Call For Help and Project Compassion

On July 18-20, Kerengende partnered with Call For Help, and Rachael R. Jackson, founder of Project Compassion, to provide a three-day youth workshop focused on the prevention of sexual exploitation. This collaborative event introduced female-identified youth to the concepts of consent, coercion, and boundaries through daily dialogue and a culminating hands-on art project. 

Led by a licensed art therapist from Call for Help, Marilyn Holmes, the culminating interactive art project invited girls to create a “canvas of self” with the decoration of mannequins, allowing girls to be hands-on, creative, and supportive of one another. 

Ten African American girls participated in the camp, which was led by Black women, enabling culturally specific conversation. Both adults and youth had the opportunity to share and care intimately, vulnerably, and compassionately. In addition to empowering the girls with key information and decision-making skills, the summer camp also organically fostered strong interpersonal skills such as teamwork, empathy, and communication. To learn more about our summer camp’s impact, read our blog here!

It’s All of Our Business: Programs for Parents, Guardians, and Community Members

Community Outreach at Vivian Adams Elementary School 

On September 1, we hosted a table at Vivian Adams Early Childhood Center Elementary School in East St. Louis during their open house. This was the first event Kerengende participated in at the elementary school level, which allowed us to empower parents of young children with information and tools to prevent childhood sexual abuse and exploitation. 

Community Outreach at Belleville East and Belleville West High Schools

“How to Set Boundaries & Communicate with Ease”

Our July 14 program with Rachel Grant, highlighted in our summer update, was a success! “How to Set Boundaries & Communicate with Ease” educated participants on identifying areas in their lives where they are not keeping their word with themselves. Rachael reminded us how “going against our will and forcing ourselves to do things we don’t want to do” is re-traumatizing and creates feelings of shame and resentment. We learned strategies that restore our integrity, and give us space to fully consent to requests rather than agreeing from a place of perceived obligation. Watch the replay here!

---

Team Training

In June, the Convergence Resource Center hosted the Kerengende Foundation for a customized training on critical topics such as human trafficking, trauma, and how to best engage with survivors and their families. The facilitators equipped Kerengende with tools to continue developing a strong infrastructure for assisting survivors in a way that is client-centered and trauma-informed. The training was so successful that the Convergence Resource Center will now offer customized programs on a national basis.

---

We Moved!

---

Upcoming Programs

• On September 27, we will hold a parent community training at Vivian Adams Elementary School, open to all parents at the school.
• On October 18 and 20, we will host a Healthy Relationships workshop for teens at our new office space. Look out for an email with registration information (subscribe at the bottom of this page). 
• On October 25, we will hold a training in East St. Louis on exploitation awareness in partnership with Crisis Aid. Location details forthcoming. 
• In October, we will begin parent workshops at our new office location. Stay tuned for more updates in the fall.

---

Call to Action

We are looking for speakers on a panel that we are organizing this fall about sexual exploitation and sex trafficking of boys. Potential speakers include stakeholders, youth advocates, teachers, law enforcement, parents, victim witness advocates, and any other community members with experience on this topic. If you are interested or know of a potential speaker, please contact us at , using the information in the footer, or via our contact form. 

Dear Friends,

First, thank you for all of your support on Giving Tuesday, which provides the necessary resources for our workshops, community outreach programs, therapy services, and more. Together, we are helping our teens, families, and community members respond to and prevent sexual abuse. If you missed Giving Tuesday, there is still time to support us! Below, please see updates from the past quarter, followed by ways to get involved by the end of this year and beyond.

With gratitude,

Amber

WORKSHOP HIGHLIGHTS

Stronger Together Teen Workshops

In October, we offered two healthy relationships workshops at our W. Main Street location. Lauren Peffley, with Crisis Aid St. Louis facilitated an extremely engaging two-part workshop where our girls:

• Talked about green flags of healthy relationships, Yellow flags of unhealthy relationships, and RED flags of abusive relationships
• Discussed various topics such as: Communication, boundaries, healing from trauma, self-worth, and so much more

If it sounds like we have two locations, it’s because WE DO! We are thrilled to share that we now have additional office space located in downtown Belleville. This generous donation allows us to expand our programming. Thank you to Barry Haden for generously donating the space!

It’s All of Our Business Community Workshops

We were proud to partner with Macedonia Baptist Church in East St. Louis for the first time in October. The Church generously hosted our first Online Exploitation Prevention workshop in collaboration with Crisis Aid for over 20 participants, one of our largest groups to date. Attendees learned about the dynamics of predatory online behaviors and received information that supported parents and guardians to mitigate the risk of their children falling prey to victimization and/or further victimization (leading to future trafficking or exploitation). The workshop culminated with a dinner for the attendees.

Sexual Abuse Prevention Workshop

This month, we offered two sexual abuse prevention workshops to the community, one at the non-for-profit CDBG Family Living Center, which fosters the development of affordable and decent housing opportunities and related community services in East St. Louis. The second took place at Vivian Adams early learning center, where parents learned about grooming behaviors and child sexual abuse prevention practices. We engaged in rich discussions about the importance of teaching children body safety and consent language as a preventative measure. We also connected families with additional resources for therapeutic support.

NEW TRAINING PROGRAM

We teamed up with the St. Clair County Sheriff’s department, a new partnership, to offer our first Compassionate Interactions training. With approximately 120 officers in attendance, the two trainings featured an inside perspective of a non-offending caregiver, and invited the officers to consider the importance of building rapport and connecting families to local resources as they navigate the recovery process. We hope to expand this training in 2023.

---

NEW SUPPORT GROUP

On December 5th, we launched a bi-monthly support group, led by a therapist, for non-offending caregivers whose children were victims of sexual abuse or trafficking. Led by a therapist, we are so proud of this group of amazing parents who have come together to learn from and support each other. We currently have five caregivers participating and have three spots left.

 SPEAKING ENGAGEMENT

In November I spoke at the Children’s Advocacy Centers of Mississippi’s One Loud Voice Conference about my family’s experience with child sexual abuse and the importance of advocacy and special considerations for families in crisis. It was a phenomenal experience to present and to learn from leaders in the field. Thank you to Children’s Advocacy Centers of Mississippi for inviting me to present.

Donate Today!

Dear Friends,

With your support, the Kerengende Foundation is on track for its most impactful year to date! We are excited to share with you our current and upcoming programs and partnerships that support our teens, families, and community members. We also share below what is on the horizon as we press forward in our work to respond to and prevent sexual abuse, as well as ways to get involved. Thank you for your pivotal support that enables us to advocate for those who need our services the most.     

With gratitude,

Amber

WORKSHOP HIGHLIGHTS

Stronger Together: Program for Teens

In January 2023, we hosted two Stronger Together Workshops with Belleville East and West high school students in collaboration with Project Compassion. Rachel R. Jackson-Poole invited us to bring our Healthy Relationships Curriculum to engage students in meaningful dialogue, delving into concepts of consent, healthy relationship boundaries and safety planning. Our program was facilitated by one of our community educators, Hannah Rosenthal, along with our founder. Not only was this a learning experience for those who participated, but we also learned a lot from our students about what matters to them and what concerns they have in their day-to-day lives about staying safe and having healthy relationships.

It’s All of Our Business: Our Boys are Vulnerable, Too

Towards the end of January, we hosted a workshop titled, “Our Boys Are Vulnerable, Too” in collaboration with Just Black Thoughts. This online event featured a diverse panel of youth advocates, social workers, and academics with more than 50 years of combined experience who discussed identifying risk factors for silent victims of sexual abuse, exploitation, and trafficking of young boys. The panel was centered on boys, often left out of the national conversation on sexual exploitation and sex trafficking, and informed our families of the latent and active threats facing young men, especially boys of color from low-income communities.

Support Groups

As we shared in our last newsletter, in December we launched a bi-monthly support group, led by a therapist, for non-offending caregivers whose children were victims of sexual abuse or trafficking.  We have offered seven support group sessions to date, and overall, we have seen a significant amount of growth and healing that resulted from these conversations. We want to share our gratitude to Call for Help and Marilyn Holmes for collaborating with us, facilitating these group conversations, and creating spaces for parents to both heal and gain necessary tools to prevent additional harm to their children.

Community Outreach

Kerengende Foundation exhibited at the National Symposium on the Sexual Behavior of Youth in Norman, Oklahoma on February 21st – 23rd. We learned so much about problematic sexual behaviors (PSB), sexual harm initiated by other children and resources available to families of children exhibiting problematic sexual behavior. This spring, Kerengende will host a speaker to educate our community about PSB and how we can support youth and their families. Statistics show that 36% of child sexual abuse is initiated by other children. As a community, it’s imperative we understand how to identify and treat youth with PSB to prevent sexual harm against children.

On March 4th, our Community Outreach initiative exhibited at a Health Resource Fair hosted by 21st Century and Cahokia Unified School District. We distributed 30 resource guides and donated twelve Body Safety and Consent Books, purchased with your generous Giving Tuesday funds (thank you!!). This Resource Fair allowed us to build relationships and intentionally connect with roughly 100 parents, teens, and community organizations to catalyze our efforts to promote healing and prevention of sexual exploitation.

Our Board President, James Clayborne, tabled with us, stamped bingo cards and shared Kerengende’s mission with the community!

With your generous donations, we delivered Body Consent and Safety books to Family Life Living Center in East St. Louis. We are excited to partner with them in support of families.

---

Staff Updates

Kerengende has 3 new contractor additions to our team! We continue to leverage the talents of contractors to give us flexibility as we grow

Mikayla Dunkin is our new Community Educator. Mikayla has a Master’s Degree in Social Work and has experience developing and delivering presentations and trainings, events, and fundraising for anti-trafficking efforts in the greater St. Louis region. Mikayla will focus on further developing our curriculums and facilitating our community workshops. We are excited to have Mikayla on the team!

Antwan Chambers will focus on our LGBTQ Child Sexual Abuse Prevention initiative. Antwan has an extensive background serving underserved youth and supporting organizations building youth-serving programs. He was an LGBTQ Youth facilitator and researched topics relevant to LGBTQ+ youth development and distributed resources and information to youth, parents, and caregivers.

Micah Prior is a social and economic development social worker and public health practitioner. He recently joined the team to provide administrative, research, and technical support for a variety of initiatives across our organization. 

Upcoming Programs

On March 27th, we are returning to the Family Living Center in East St. Louis to facilitate the workshop “Understanding My ACES & Practices for Healing.” This is Kerengende’s second workshop at FLL and we will introduce the Adverse Childhood Experience Study and how an individual’s score may impact the way that they respond to stress. “Why is it so hard for me to trust people? Why do little things like my toddler screaming or dropping and breaking a plate – make me so angry or tense?” We will offer ways to heal their way forward and experience post-traumatic growth. Thank you Amosnee Davis for inviting us back! 

Our Boys Are Vulnerable, Too #2

On April 4th, from 5:30-7 PM, the panel will focus primarily on the vulnerability factors facing our young boys and men regarding sexual exploitation and sex trafficking. While the first panel of youth advocates, academics, and social workers opened and framed this discussion on the topic of sexual exploitation against boys, this second panel will bring together practitioners in social work, public health, education, and social activism to discuss specifically the signs and symptoms of sexual violence against our boys. Given the diverse backgrounds of the panelists, you do not want to miss such an informative, interdisciplinary dialogue! Click HERE to register!

Healthy Relationships Teen Workshop

On April 13th and 20th, Kerengende Foundation is collaborating with Crisis Aid and Lauren Peffley to host our Spring Healthy Relationships two-day workshop, “What Love Means To Me.”  The workshops will be facilitated at 6611 W Main St. Please see the registration page HERE. 

Unlock the Cage with Rachel Grant: Overcoming Fear & Anxiety

The workshop explores how anxiety immobilizes us and how to stop missing out on life, as a result. The goal of this workshop is to equip participants to identify core fears preventing transformation and how to manage fear and anxiety and take action in recovering from sexual trauma. You can register for her event here.

Macedonia Baptist Church has invited our founder to present on the mission of Kerengende at the Church’s Women’s Conference on May 4th. Thank you to Pastor Horton and First Lady Shaurice Horton for including us in their programming!

How You Can Make an Impact